Feb 7, 2013 – 18 Weeks: What's In a Name?

Children don’t come with instruction manuals, but I’ve definitely picked up some good advice.  The one I took most to heart was that parenting styles will differ, so I should not to discourage my husband from trying things his own way, especially if I want him to help out.  Also, that we should be flexible on our birth plan and be ready for things to not go according to plan, but at the same time be very clear with the hospital staff what our goals are.  And we shouldn’t let the nurses push us around and tell us what to do & when to do it concerning the small (non-medical) stuff.  And my favorite: put puppy pads over your sheets when your due date gets close so you won’t get your bed wet when your water breaks.  Brilliant.

I’ve also seen some pretty obvious examples of what NOT to do.  Ever watch the “Hollywood Complex” documentary?  Well don’t.  It will make you sick to your stomach.  Still hard to believe how many parents shepherd their pre-teens year after year to Hollywood in hopes of landing a modeling/acting/singing contract.  Same for parents that enter their kid in beauty pageants.  If I ever get tempted to do that, somebody please smack me.  How can you have any hope of not having a self-absorbed, low self-esteem, messed up kid after that experience?  It breaks my heart to watch 10-year-olds talk that way about money and fame and dress/act like they are 20.  Children need grounding, values, and a childhood.  And let’s not forget the parents in the “Nursery University” documentary that go into cut-throat mode to get their toddler into an exclusive $20,000/year nursery school that they think will put them on the path to Harvard.  One word: yikes.

As we get closer and closer to our ultrasound date (this is going to be the longest 2 weeks of my life), we are getting more serious about name choices for this babe.  Hopefully soon we’ll be able to concentrate on names for one gender or the other.  But even then it will be challenging to narrow it down; we have so many good options.  We’ve had some of the first names start to jump out at us, but then the middle names give us trouble.  And as soon as we think we’ve got it, one or both of us decides we aren’t as crazy about the name as we used to be.  Maybe we’ll just have to wait to meet him or her before we know what fits.

We do have some ground rules – no names of ex’s, it must sound right with our last name, no “kre-8-ive” spellings, nothing too popular nor too “out there”, no gender-neutral names, and it must be suitable for both a child and an adult.  We also need to like the nicknames (so many awesome names got vetoed because of this).  And most importantly, the middle name will not be a “filler” - like the first name, it will have a strong meaning, honor a loved one, have a family history, represent a part of who we are, or something.

One thing I cannot identify with is the choice of people on BabyCenter to constantly poll their peers on what they think of their name choices.  I can see why some people like asking family & friends for feedback, but why do you care what a perfect stranger thinks?  I can already tell you what will happen: some people will love it and others will hate it.  How does that help you make up your mind?  I’m really glad Matt convinced me not to share our name ideas – this way we don’t get any unwanted opinions.