Dec 27th, 2012 - 12 Weeks

I had my second OB appointment today and got to hear the heartbeat for the first time!  It wasn’t very loud on their little machine so at first I couldn’t hear anything and looked at the dr. with concern.  I could hear someone else’s baby’s heartbeat through the walls while I was waiting so I guess I expected it to be really loud.  She looked at me expectantly, as if looking for my reaction.  Then I caught what she was hearing and broke into a relieved smile.  It seemed like a fast heartbeat, but I couldn’t tell how fast just by listening.  

At this point I really have no clue what gender baby could be.  For awhile I was hoping for a girl, but was convinced it was a boy.  But now I’m at the point where I’m not really wishing for one or the other, I just want a healthy baby.  I’ve started involuntarily referring to the baby as “he” in conversation – I wonder if that’s a sign or if I’m just going with the odds.

Over Christmas while in Sarasota with my family I was incredibly nauseated – week 12 sucked!!  I had go throw up twice in the middle of my shower.  Even brushing my teeth triggers my gag reflex.  The nausea got so bad that one night at dinner I couldn’t find a single thing on the menu that I wanted, and when my entrée arrived I couldn’t stand the smell and burst into tears in the middle of the restaurant.  I couldn’t even eat plain bread.  I ended up not eating at all that night, which made me cry harder because I knew I’d feel even more nauseated later from not eating.  I felt like dead weight the whole trip because I spent half the time laying down or feeling sick; I’m sure I wasn’t a joy to be around.  I’m glad I didn’t get sick on the airplane at least. 

It was cute that our baby already received a couple presents – Brent’s girlfriend Jackie found a funny pacifier with a mustache on it; Mom & Dad got a stuffed puppy learning toy, and Mom found a baby quilt that my late Grandma must have purchased randomly and saved.  I don’t think she necessarily bought it with great-grandchildren in mind, since Matt and I were newly engaged when she died, but I’d like to think that she could have had us in mind.

I’m already getting sick of unsolicited advice.  I welcome it from people who have been through the process before (especially recently), but it annoys me to no end when people assure me that this or that is ok when they have done ZERO research on it.  Unless you have a medical degree, have given birth in the last few years, or have done some research on current guidelines, don’t question my doc’s advice.  Yes, our moms had fewer restrictions and we turned out fine, I know.  But since I’m a novice at this, I’m going to play it safe. 

My other favorite is people who downplay morning sickness.  No, it doesn’t just happen in the morning, or for a few weeks.  No, it’s not under my control and I’m not trying to be difficult.  Sometimes the frustration is that you hate the very idea of food, even though you know you should eat.  And even when you are hungry, you have to carefully consider every food you put into your body.

I am amused that it’s so easy to tell parents from non-parents from their reaction to how far along I am.  I always reply in weeks, and you can see the confused look from non-parents as they do the math in their head to calculate it in months.  Which of course I used to do too!